For My Epitaph

I came across this poem a couple of years ago and shared it on Facebook. It just came back as one of my “memories” and I was a bit stunned to realize I had completely forgotten about it. I’ve thought about (and written about on occasion) death, though it was always kind of philosophical; musings on mortality if you will.

However, given the health issues I’ve experienced in the past nearly nine months, I’ve begun thinking seriously about the inevitable. The other day I made my oldest daughter my legacy contact for everything Apple and I have a lot more to get done in the next few months. I also told my wife I thought this poem would be nice to read if there’s any kind of memorial service conducted after my death. I’m also including the introductory comments from the person who originally shared it.

Since it is an optional reading in the Reform Jewish liturgy recited before the Mourner’s Kaddish, and I was raised as a Conservative Jew, I’d never encountered it. I find it breathtaking. Hope it resonates.

”Every once in a while, a poem or song is so well constructed, so clearly conveys the authors meaning and is so precisely expressive that it becomes something of an anthem. The poem below, Epitaph, was written by Merrit Malloy and as one of those poems, has become a staple of funeral and memorial services…for good reason.”

Epitaph – By Merrit Malloy

When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.

And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.

I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.

Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.

You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.

Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.
I’ll see you at home
In the earth.