I haven’t written much about my growing old and the illnesses I’ve encountered in the past couple of years. Suffice it to say it’s been challenging, as well as revealing. Facing one’s mortality head on is both fascinating and, at times, frightening. Not that I’m afraid of death, just a little apprehensive about the process of dying. Truth to tell, I have lots of reasons to stay alive, not the least of which is my desire to see my girls (who are currently 25 and 22) grow into the confident women I have long hoped I was helping them become.

A couple of months ago I was reasonably certain my time was running out and I was facing the end – sooner than I had hoped for. My stage 4 CKD-caused anemia, my COPD, the onset of Afib, and the possibility I had had (or soon would have) a stroke was making the future look fairly grim. About a month ago, my cardiologist and my nephrologist agreed that giving me a blood transfusion of two units would be safe and would also be likely to help me feel stronger and more comfortable. They were right and ever since I received those two units of O+ I have felt much better than I have for well over a year.

As a result, I’ve been challenging myself physically in an effort to gain back some of the strength, as well as the muscle tone I’ve lost over the past couple of years. I used to enjoy shopping for groceries and cooking for the family. Also, I’ve been going out for dinner for years on Fridays with two of my former colleagues from Rocketdyne, as well as my younger daughter and the son of one of those friends. Occasionally, I would have them over and I would cook something for our dinner. I hadn’t cooked for them in quite some time.

So, last week I got a bug up my butt and decided to cook a special meal for us. Actually, it was precipitated by my wife anticipating my love of a good spaghetti sauce and asking me if I had a favorite recipe. Not having anything I could point to, I asked ChatGPT to find me a recipe for a bold, rustic meat sauce. It provided several and I picked on, after which Linda made a shopping list. Fortunately, Smart & Final was having a promotion offering free delivery with a minimum purchase of $35.00. I was able to order just about everything I needed and had it delivered. I then asked ChatGPT for a recipe for garlic bread. We had some Texas Toast in the freezer, but I wanted something a little more authentic.

As a result, I had to do something I was a bit loathe to do; get into the car and head over to Trader Joe’s to purchase a Ciabatta baguette and, since I had also asked for a vegetable suggestion that would go well with the meal, I also picked up some fresh asparagus. The reason this was a big jump for me is that my walking is somewhat off-balance and halting. I have to be more aware of where I am and what I’m doing in order to avoid a misstep or a fall. I’ve had a couple of them in the past year or so. As of that Friday I had gathered all the ingredients I would need for the dinner, including a second baguette because my oldest’s cat, Lacy, had managed to break into the one I’d purchased and ate some of it.

When Friday had rolled around, I’d already put a couple of hours into the meal, what with planning, reading, and shopping. Now came the real test, not merely of the recipes I was using, but also of my stamina and ability to get done what needed to be done. I was, after all, making everything essentially from scratch. I didn’t bake the bread, nor did I grow the tomatoes of butcher the meat and make the sausage. However, I didn’t use a pre-made sauce or garlic bread. I had to finely dice a couple of carrots, an large onion, a couple stalks of celery, and about 14 cloves of garlic. I also had to slice up 8 ounces of mushrooms and finely chop up fresh Italian parsley and fresh basil. I had to measure out several herbs/spices, including oregano, thyme, basil, and fennel seeds. Normally, none of this would have been taxing, but with my weakness and instability, it was a bit of a chore. Imagine finely dicing carrots without cutting yourself when you have essential tremors. I was proud of that accomplishment.

So, Friday evening came around, my friends showed up (including my daughter and Steve’s son mentioned earlier) and the meal commenced. ChatGPT had even provided me with a timeline to follow, which was helpful, even though I have a long history of project planning and Gantt charting. Everything came out on time and I was pleased to be able to serve everyone, eventually including myself. Now I need to share the results with ChatGPT, since it’s asked for my feedback.