Tag Archives: Illness

Isolation: “Its Like Forever Only Much Shorter”

I’ve never understood how people who once loved and cared about each other can not merely drift apart (which is far more normal than we think) but who end up hating each other. In my early twenties, somewhere around 1969 (I think) I had been living in Berzerkely and wasn’t taking very good care of myself. I became very ill with a form of asthma. I ultimately decided—thanks to the I Ching; the Chinese Book of Changes—to return to Los Angeles and get medical help. I don’t quite remember how I met Susan, but we ended up living together and she literally nursed me back to health. Our relationship didn’t last that long, mostly due to my being an asshole, but we’ve remained friends over the years; perhaps because we shared a lot of the same friends. Susan Marlow is her name, and she sent me this short essay, which I want to share. Self-isolation, social-distancing, shelter-in-place, whatever we’re calling it . . . seems to be fueling some interesting creativity and innovation. I’m happy to share it.

PS – Thank you, Sue . . . for this and, especially, for taking care of me way back in the wayback machine. I’ve long regretted how I acted back then, but I’m pleased we both went on to have wonderful, interesting, and fulfilling lives and that we remained friends. Hopefully, we’ve got another decade or two to enjoy . . . once this is behind us.


by Susan Marlow – 26 March 2020

I am finding this Covid-19 isolation, while mostly strange, not entirely unpleasant. The disease has me frightened. It is such an unknown and one that I want to keep that way.  Yet clouds can be fluffy and white and pretty or dark and sullen. They bring us rain which cleans and they filter and cool the heat.  So too has this isolation that we are living through brought some very interesting and beneficial changes for us all.

“This too shall pass” and “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” are my favorite quotes. And perhaps that is what is happening.  I actually do not mind being home I am not bored. I have oodles of half baked ideas and partially concocted schemes that I can pick up and play with.  Who knows I might finish the knitting project, or begin my composting and renewed vegetable and flower garden. The composter has been ordered through amazon prime.  I have learned to order household items to avoid shopping. My pointer finger is getting stronger, as I push those order buttons. With each boxed item it’s a bit like Christmas.  

Learning to Cope

I have gone into the garden to collect worms for the composter.  They are busy I hope eating what is in their temporary home. Now I’ve read that there are specific worms that are better than the garden variety.  Wouldn’t you know it there are designer worms available on line 1000 per pack.

I am not much of a cook and my husband (the cook) has grown tired.  His meals are not so exciting after 37 years. So we joined a meal delivery service.  The food comes fresh and ready to prepare with complete instructions. Surprisingly it is a lot of work but very tasty.  My back aches as I stand by the sink cutting chopping and stirring. So I prep the meal early allowing myself time to rest.  Then maybe 2 hours later together we finish. It’s become a very nice, even anticipated activity for the two of us. Time is not of the essence anymore or maybe it is but there is a lot of it to spread about. We don’t have anything to argue about and we are able to laugh at ourselves quite a bit.  I like that part the best.

I should tell you that I have actually been in semi isolation since 2/27 so I consider myself the expert.  I love the quiet streets which remind me of my childhood where a kid could safely ride a bicycle at break neck speed  down a hill across a residential street without much chance of getting creamed unless you hit a pothole and there were fewer potholes back then as there was less slurry, trees were younger and their roots had not yet begun to encroach.  People are out walking cranky children or happy dogs. We are walking Peanuts twice a day and he is now a very happy doggy. We waive at our neighbors most of whom we have never even met. Hundreds of bees are darting to and fro through rain soaked flower beds.  

Maybe people will once again remember how nice this all is and make the necessary changes to keep it that way once this crisis passes.

The amount of world nastiness seems to be reduced.  Everyone seems to be getting the message that we are all in this together.  Borders, walls, languages will not protect us. Jobs have changed and are still changing.  Many types of employment never to be seen again or never seen before. Creativity is running high.  California needs ventilators and someone is crafting them on 3D printers. 

My husband and I seem to be getting along better than ever which amazes me.  We treasure humor and stuff that makes us giggle a bit.  I am checking on friends whom I rarely see.  Despite our limits we are finding common concerns. People are caring for each other even at a distance which I find nothing short of magical. The  meanness that Trump fostered has finally been challenged by something far bigger than that “Stable genius.” He can not buy it, sell it, hide from it, or manipulate it.   Nevertheless, I know he tries.

I am learning more about myself.  I’ve been sequestered for a month now.  I can withstand a fair amount of isolation from others. But I can not stand our 24 hour news cycle. Our TV isn’t going on until 5:00.  

I am finding that when I casually throw out “I love you,” I really do.  I mean it. Likewise, the kiss throwing emojis have sincere meaning to me now.

And so to all my essay girls and guys—stay safe.

🥰      


The Quiet Leadership That Matters Most

Well . . . this came at an auspicious time. This article was just shared by a friend on FB, in a local Indivisible group. It’s very short, but contains a TED Talk that’s a little over six minutes long. It’s really worth watching; game me the chills. Also, think about what we’re doing right now by staying home and practicing social distancing. I am certain it’s making a difference, thought it may be another couple of weeks before the numbers will make it clear. And, since I’m one of the people who’s theoretically inside the bullseye (age and comorbidities) I’m thankful to everyone who’s taking this seriously. I certainly am.

This moment that we are living through right now, is really rather extraordinary. Tens of millions of us are sitting at home. We don’t have our military patrolling the  streets, threatening to…

With respect to the subject of the video, there was a group of us at Rocketdyne who used to constantly say, “lead from where you are,” meaning “don’t wait for others to tell you what to do or how to do it; step up and step out. You know what to do. Now do it!” So, in addition to the speaker’s assertion that we need to accept ourselves as leaders, I would add we need to recognize the opportunities presented to us to do so. Enjoy the talk.

Source: The Quiet Leadership That Matters Most – Political⚡Charge


Hunkering Down

After hearing a television pundit suggest that millions of people are terrified of what’s happening with the Corona Virus, I got to thinking about it and posted the following on Facebook:

“I’m not terrified, but I am dealing with the reality I may not survive this pandemic. I’m nearly 73 and have numerous underlying conditions, including mild COPD. My family and I are isolating in our home, but we need groceries now and then. I’ve been out a couple of times in the past week, but I’ve been careful to maintain distance and refrain from touching my face until I get home and can wash my hands.

“There are, however, numerous vectors and I have a hard time imagining I can avoid them all. I normally don’t get colds or the flu, but I had an as yet unexplained episode of pulmonary distress that lasted a couple of months and finally dissipated with a regimen of Prednisone, but not until I’d coughed so much I needed double hernia surgery. It also led to the testing that resulted in my COPD dx. Needless to say, I’m taking this seriously. I’m sure many of my friends are similarly situated. Wishing everyone the best. Hopefully, we’ll see each other on the other side.”

The Morona Virus

So far it’s received over eighty reactions and dozens of comments either telling me to hang in there or suggesting I do everything from what I am doing to wearing a mask, gloves, and face shield any time I go to the grocery store.

I’m sticking with the protocols I’m following, though may adjust if things deteriorate, which it seems likely they will.

This morning I did go to Trader Joe’s to pick up some groceries we needed. After I returned, I posted about it (actually, I checked in when I was waiting in line, sharing a picture of the two lines they were using – one for old farts like me and one for the younger folk) and responded to a couple of friends with the following comments:

“This worked out fine. Everybody pretty much stayed at least six feet away from each other. When we went in, they allowed about twenty people at a time so it’s not crowded and you can maintain distances. I have never seen this store as well stocked as it is now. The guy who checked me out said this was their first order that they actually wrote, i.e. they were just taking whatever the warehouse was sending until now. When we went in it was a mix of us old farts and then those under 65. We were each handed a disinfectant wipe as we walked in, so I wiped down the handle I’d been touching and wiped my hands thoroughly. It’s a challenge opening TJ’s produce bags without licking my fingers, but I got ‘er done. I waited about 10 minutes and was in the store no more than 10 minutes. I’m pretty sure we can remain inside now for at least a week before I’ll have to either venture outside or take someone up on their generous offers to shop for us, though I just don’t feel right exposing others regardless of my situation.”

and, in response to a suggestion I have my children, who are 16 and 18, shop for me, I wrote:

“Being a bit compromised myself (Type II Diabetes, essential hypertension, Hep C, stage 2 kidney disease, and COPD-all mild and not currently life threatening) I’m wary, but I don’t like the idea of risking my children. My understanding is the disease can severely compromise lung function for the remainder of one’s life and I’ve already lived enough for two or three. I also have good life insurance and a pension that will continue as long as Linda lives. I do take what I consider prudent steps to avoid contamination, but you can’t just wipe down every damned thing in the world. Is everyone wiping down their mail? I imagine some folks are, but I’m not in that camp.”

So . . . the adventure continues. Currently, in my hometown of Simi Valley, California, there are eleven cases of COVID-19. That’s double what they were two days ago. This is a very conservative city in CA and I have no doubt many residents (and a majority of the City Council, including the Mayor) believed this was a hoax because you-know-who told them it was. Some undoubtedly still believe it to be one. I expect the number of cases to increase dramatically in the next week or so.


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