Funny how one reacts at the news of the deaths of famous and beloved people. David Bowie was less than five months older than me. Natalie Cole about two and a half years younger.

I don’t think I’m overly obsessed (is that from the Department of Redundancy Department?) with death, but anyone who reads this blog knows I do think of it. I believe I’m driven to contemplate it by two major factors in my life: my father’s untimely death at a couple months shy of his 60th birthday, and; my becoming a first-time adoptive father at 55 and again at 59.

Since I’ve long passed the age at which the old man died, I believe the “sword” hanging over my head is related to my desire to be around long enough to get to know both my daughters when they’re adults. My oldest will be 15 this year and she’s not terribly interested in anything I have to say, and I’m anxiously awaiting the 12-year-old’s descent into madness.

Pile on top of that the numerous ways in which my body is aging, changing, and falling apart, and I hope to hang on for at least another decade before shedding this mortal coil and rejoining the great quantum field from whence we’ve all emerged. Also, the changes in technology and society that are taking place right now have me wishing I could live another hundred years or so — just to see what happens!

I’m well aware the ultimate trajectory of my existence is mostly out of my control . . . and I’m fine with that. I’m quite certain when it’s my time I’ll be ready if it takes a while and I’m aware of the end’s approach, or there won’t be any me to worry about it. I just don’t want my kids to lose their third father before their twentieth birthdays. They deserve better.

I was just reminded that I once left Rocketdyne, when it was a part of Rockwell international, because they wouldn’t approve a class I needed. The reason they gave was that it “wasn’t related to my job description.”

I dont know about others, but i suspect many people have similar experiences, where what they were actually doing had little to do with their title or job description.

It wasn’t a trivial thing, either, as I needed the class for a Master’s program I had started and my budget would not allow me to shoulder the burden of tuition I was led to believe would be covered by the company.

It also wasn’t the last time the same kind of thing happened. Knowing the ways of bureacracy, I fully expect it will happen again. I consider it evidence of a distinct inability to think on the part of certain people in large organizations.

Well, here it is Monday, January 4 and, after a week and a half of “vacation” it’s time to return to work. After nearly five years of retirement, which included a few different client engagements during that time, it became painfully obvious to me I need structure to really make the most of whatever it is I’m doing.

Returning to my “alma mater” – Rocketdyne – has been a blessing, though there are times (like this morning) when I don’t quite feel up to it. It’s given me the need to regiment myself and structured my time in a way I find useful and even enjoyable.

The holidays were, as always, reasonably enjoyable. Seeing and spending time with family is always special. Some of my cousins I only see once a year. However, returning to the routine that has lost me nearly 15 pounds in the last six months and strengthened my body and increased my stamina considerably, is a good thing.

OK – I’m done, cleaned up, presentable, lunch packed, and my new backpack is ready and rarin’ to go. I’m off. Here’s to a great year. Actually, I’ll be happy for a decent week.